UThsi is stoem riughteuos forgets

Sput-put

2010-09-01T09:54:00.001+01:00

Life just got more difficult

2010-08-25T01:34:00.001+01:00

The 5 Obstructions
1. Make one using only guitar to do all the instruments (not midi/fx etc) more like acoustic beatbox style. Drums bass etc
2. Find the highest comfortable note your voice can sing words at and allow yourself a fourth below. That is the span of notes allowed. Non-diatonic/microtonal is fine.
3. Write a song normally without constraint - then divide it into 6 second chunks. Number them. Shuffle the multiples of 3 randomly. Put back together and smooth the joins.
4. Record the backing track purely from nature/city/people etc - try and arrange it in a scale - use that to form the chords you may have worked out on your guitar. You can use a pitch shifter providing it is not 'obvious' like Cher etc.
5. Go to a remote and appropriate place with your chosen instrument and a song in mind. Sit there in silence for an hour listening. Try not to think about the song but get immersed in the sounds around you. Identify themes, drones, surprises etc. Then record the singing part. Sit/stand for another 20 minutes listening and thinking. Then record an accompaniment. Repeat at 20 minute intervals til you think you have enough. Then record the singing part again before you're ready. Use this as the basis of your arrangement.

Ostrich Egg

2010-07-26T00:54:00.001+01:00

At the agora

2010-07-26T00:49:00.001+01:00

o wind

2010-07-05T14:09:00.003+01:00

GOVERNME@T

2010-05-12T15:18:00.002+01:00

Up andown Upandwon go the votees swing swing at the bpttm of the fgraden plying wiuth the boys from politics village. Mmmmm yoiu tast eliek POLITICS WIHNE. Undet the Cheryty tree dacing arounf cartwheeels inthe DAVFODILS until ding thers the bell for dinner run home littl votees bfor your found out down there getting your swing pushd by the NICE BOYS fro m potlicks across the streem. One day youw ill gorw up and be marrie d to one of those bys forevver and ever but dont wory you will stil have memoirs of hwo they used to take turns and myybe youll swing sometims even wihen your old and mostly made of sad stories.

Something buggy what now?

2010-04-26T12:47:00.003+01:00

Candidates for buggy ride in next week's buggy special meeting please sign up on the sheet below, note this will cost 50p and you need a note from your personal trainer:

Charles

Terry

Freddy

Ramon

Robort

Horss

2010-01-30T11:10:00.002Z

What's Behind That Grass????? I love you Horss

POST DELETED

2010-01-19T21:33:00.005Z

POST DELETED BECAUS OF OFF ENSIVE LACK OF SELF_WARNESS

Blog

2009-11-19T02:55:00.002Z

Shadow

Shadow

Shadow everyone! Nine teen days until CHristmas and alredi it seems like I have nt shopped at all for at least thrree yrs! Lets take a lead out o f the environnmentns book thus year! And all buy a tree, for paper, fuel or carbonn credit! I often make the environemtns' demand but I also have a close relationship with ym own files and spider. PLease do think abou t nothing at this time of imminent disclosure - REMEBER - THERE'S aLsorts of stuff in Christmass, nad not least the birth of bnbaby Jesus but also evniroments and suchlike and poverty. Most of all its a time for everything so make sure the tru meanings include one of yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GDWLL TO All Men and ladies and enviironemtn

personnalo meditatio rights to wondear

2009-10-16T01:46:00.002+01:00

Practical poetry:

1. Practical poem
Boil the kettle
Think twice
Best not drink any tea
Or water
Best get to bed.

2. Practical poem
Tune bag is a good phrase
But no practical bearing there
So best forget
And get to bed.

3. Practical poem
Doubt is a word we are barely beginning to understand
Best get to bed.

Jusgmne

2009-09-01T15:15:00.002+01:00

The dept. of judgement is the littlest dept. in the unversty, inside a little red thimbel. When you go inside the office the professor of judgement sits you down with a nice cupoftea and tells you what he thinks about all the other depts. He is a nice man but not easy to talk to.

A poem I made up in my head to help me to remember to look up asphodel and objectivism on Wikipedia and why

2009-08-17T04:22:00.001+01:00

Asphodel Kant
Objectivist epistemology
Truth Beauty
Asphodel Kant.

A picture

2009-07-13T01:26:00.001+01:00

No story this time.

A picture story

2009-06-12T18:44:00.005+01:00

So we died and they were all saying 'this is the afterlife'. It was pleasant for everyone but I wasn't that into it. Everything was kind of two-dimensional and spacey. One day I just put some kids in my buckets and I was like 'I'm going', and everyone handled it pretty well.

Haikus of Melodramatic Self-Loathing

2009-06-03T16:10:00.001+01:00

The refuse mounts up
But I cannot complain. I:
The source of the rot

Of all the symbols
One might want to remember
Me by: the dead mouse

The world spins on dark
Indifferent to man. But
To me it says: 'Eugh!'

Love msg 4 inspirational times when it's too much print out and remember the good times are inspirational

2009-04-27T20:45:00.003+01:00

Draggon arrt competition now CLOSED

2009-04-16T17:34:00.001+01:00

There was one entree, and the winneris the everyone of DRaggon ARRRrrrrrrt.

Draggon arrt in arrt competiton

2009-03-25T21:00:00.007Z

Submit your draggon arrt if you dare to be willing: Also REAL draggon photos welcomed. No timewasters pls.

Addendums to an appreciation of March

2009-03-12T21:07:00.004Z

Everyone appreciates March: its ending and dissolution into April has long been seen as an annual disaster. But March is worthy of closer attenting. Hence the following addenda:
The March is, of course, the journey from A to B, but in its old Anglo-Saxon meaning of frontier it resembles less a journey than a policing of boundaries - a patrol which takes one not from A to B but along the border between the two, preventing anyone else from getting anywhere. Of course, the Latinate route of 'Mars' implies a conflict, but for us it is a conflict not only between sides, but between moving along a side and crossing it. At the point where Winter meets Spring we are reminded that we can either see ourselves as propelled - hurtling like a small red planet through spacetime, or we can enjoy our presence in the inevitable present. The present which is, and has been gifted us, by March.

Nervy? You should be.

2009-03-12T20:39:00.003Z

NERVES! They're what make us feel. But they're more than that. They're information conduits betweeeen the inside and the edge of the human. When we say people aren't 'comfortable in their skin' more often than not we mean that there's been some kind of malfunction within their nervous system which has rerouted important information from the skin to the wrong part of the brain. No wonder NERVES make people are so JUMPY! But it's the jumpiness which I want to talk about. The way 'people' carry on these days in the newspapers you would have thought that nerves were a blight on our lives and that nervousness (as opposed to confidence or calm) was a disability. No-sense! Sensitivity of the NERVES is a mark of cultivation - a rare gift like being able to see through walls or perfect pitch. Those with well-functioning NERVES are being made to feel uncomfortable by philistines who carry on as if it were healthy and smart not to have the maximum amount of information conveyed quickly and directly to the right part of the brain. Shame on our culture and shame on those who seek to dull their NERVOUS SYSTEM.

Announcing the Adjustable Lattice

2009-02-26T19:12:00.009Z

Gut Razor

2009-02-24T20:16:00.001Z

Right now I am imagining a massive gut razor chopping up my insides. AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Oooh. What do you want gut razor? Can I defeat your power?

A short story, to whit: 'The Fall of Capitalism', with apologies and frank acknowledgements to the great Donald Barthelme's 'The Rise of Capitalism'

2009-02-18T16:04:00.008Z

Capitalism meets me at the station in wildly upbeat mood. All the way down Lawrence street Capitalism tells me what a wonderful day it has had at the office. 'I know your game', I tell Capitalism, with a jovial tweak of its nose. But I don't. I have no idea what Capitalism actually does for a living.

At Cynthia's house dinner is fish pie and apple tart. Capitalism is arguing heatedly with Gerald, who has decided not to come ice skating on Sunday after all. Capitalism thinks ice skating is retro chic and that Gerald is unreliable. Cynthia recorks the wine.

As we are leaving Capitalism trips on the step into the hallway and barrels headlong into the tiles. Capitalism is alright, but is morose all the way home. It is, I think, lucky to have such wonderful friends.

'Goodnight Capitalism', I say. But it is already fast asleep.

Sad feet: Ways a penguin moves 2009.a.i

2009-02-10T16:51:00.008Z

Penguin time.

"New ways of thinking about Money...

2009-02-05T13:49:00.002Z

1. "Money is just stuff, and every time somebody makes some stuff or says some stuff, that is money."
2. "Money is a contagious disease which turns human potential into blood and pain."
3. "Money is a like a picture of how much humanity likes itself. Like when we say there is lots of money it's like a portrait of everyone with great hair and magical powers."
4. "Money is a curse inflicted by God after the Tower of Babel thing."
5. "Money is what the government makes, right - like what the government sells to us to prove it can make something real and isn't just a self-sustaining bureaucrocodile."

spooky

2009-02-01T13:32:00.001Z

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=warmsley

conecronomics

2009-02-01T13:27:00.003Z

Everybyodys talking about free trade and protectionsm. It would be churlsh not to open up ethe cornonomy as as erious topic of conversion on this Blog. spittitlikeyouthinkit.

CORRRRN

2009-02-01T13:11:00.002Z

Corn is so beatufiul it breakes my heart. as the poet said "Corn for the ills of hunger and a disease for you inversely proportionate to corn." yah chekkitout.

forgiveness on a theme: Darwin Evolves into SPATULA! SCIENCE!

2009-01-15T01:04:00.003Z

THis is a new serious of idea.s. I wanna show you THIS:

Victorian novels helped us evolve into better people, say psychologists

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/jan/14/victorian-novels-evolution-altruism

WHich contains a link to the original article in 'EVolutiaaroony SCIENTopsyhchology' or somefunk. This has also beene like well populriszed in new scientist already (where the broadsheet scienece editoirs get alkk their stories, somethimes whith the DELAY OF MANY WEEKS. But really - this has got to be the biscuit. I mean, wherer do you scratch?

This si the 150th anniversary year of ON THE ORGAN OF THE SPICES by CHUCK D (and GALAPAGA GLAP) so the Cambrijj cru and the populace posse go krazee for this shit, but it's no tiem to be a cultural historiman.

Chekkya like tell me I'm just speakin yo, say it' anit' so and they aint gonna taek my meanings away.

OR , on the other hadn, liek, aren't novels a piss poor way of evolving? SHOULDn't We use FIGHTS?

whatevs. over and volte.

Jos

PS

2008-12-27T21:49:00.002Z

PS Darwin kissd my ass with his beard and I liked it. Dum dum dum de dum dah dah.

Whops!! Sorry CHRISTMAs everyoen!

2008-12-27T21:42:00.002Z

Well, Im sorry it has tekan me sooooooo looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong to write on my blog again after such a seuccesful first month. THANZX EVERYYYBPDU FOR SUCH A SCUUCCCSESSSFULL FIRST MOMNTEH.

"Does advertising get 'better'? Has there been an objective improvement in the effectiveness of its manipulation? Or is it merely subject to the same fads and fashions as anything else, in an endless round robin which has to chirp unsustainably to keep up with the jerky zigzag of the hive-mind. and will sometimes fall behind, sometimes accidentally anticipate? Old question. But consider this - If advertising really has got 'better', has it reached its limits? Is it an economic factor in its own right - ie. a CAUSE of consumerism, rather than an aspect of it?"

ALL this an' mo. I love you I love you goodnight 2009 goodnight.

Whodigga?

2008-12-16T23:04:00.003Z

Heideggar lives in a magik koottage in the countryside and he wanders aboot to find peeople or things that might be Philsoophical, and catch them in a littel cloth bag, but he cannott understnad his owwn writing and is dommed to repeat his misteaks.

Chekitout. Sad story:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1K-0sf7PfXM

LAst chance slooon

2008-12-15T01:36:00.002Z

High tiems one iNThe INternet, lookgin Out for the msto COmplicate d GRaffs and kreditt krunkin to the so-called Blogbeat. It duznt take mreo thatn a few moements to realize thtat somethign sseriousyl wrogn iis going on waking up scorched from the heat of the screen hearign that noze agen voicse in the ether humming 'you dunt know wht this is a ccover of, but Now itz how you feeeeeeeel la la la' iz that a fox or a baby, fox or baby did i say thtat out loud? I mean IS thati the soudn OF Apoor abandond BABY itrapped insieed your XBRANDRADIOSHOW or is it in actuil fct A DIJGJITAL FOX who will EAT your babsi Isn a despierrate attempt to kdeep the music wheesl z rollgin iwht the SAd Sandman songs of the BUST - era. I woudl liek to pay in my normal currency plz I wont everything back to norrma; their isx no point singng yourll JUSt make it weirdr and I cannot sprare a dime if yoru dunt shuttup. I wnt to wtch u in slowmoshun whith the sound off an one of the se time s i will get the measure of your wrth, damnyou internet YOu move too fas.

DIsucussion FOrum abotu IEVIL SPRITTS

2008-12-13T19:13:00.002Z

EVeryboy has theyir own favouritte Way of warding off evil sprittes and sprittes at this tiem of year. For exatmple, te methods of defeet by Reason, or of defeat by Special Teraccoootta Animal are btoh very pupular areound the world. What is your fvourite way? I am sshowing my song for your saftey and enjyoment also whcih I use for warding and msuic.

My Garden

2008-12-11T16:29:00.003Z

It looks leik THSI> My anceestors are burid along the path and I rpotect them ferom the pesky dinosaurus REX. Just a littel bit about me so you feel like you nkow me better maybe, and apperciate my strugel and respekt my Lfestiel.

That there black HOEL is only a scapgoat

2008-12-10T15:13:00.003Z

So, Scieneteists say therei s a black Hoel int he middle of the galaxcy, for sure now, no psising around. And at the middle otf the back Hole is a sisngularity which is a meddlsoem tproblem in physics showing the nedd to tweak the theory whaevr, it's not liek everyhting's wrong in physics but it reayll isn' t the ablack holes fault or really even the fault of the singurarlites which are also blamed for makign the univers e at the big bang , whatver there isprobably liek a signlualrity at the middel fo the slugs in my sink becaues I cant explain them aeither. Tjhe balck hole is there, sure, cool , now we know its ther, but its not to blame. It's not the singluarities fautl its our fault, all fo our fault.

Also goats are notirously gung-ho abtou whatt hey eat ANd it miught be you next sucked in by the black hole or the lasser beam eyes so yuo better get a proper expalnation soon.

NEw rulse at CHSESS

2008-12-09T13:13:00.003Z

This is ther new rulfes of CHESS suggestion for better fgames, more SPice called "This is some righteous chess"

1. Maek sure hta you have one ches spiece with you at la ll times, take if fof the baord and secrete it. MaYbe ina Faouvourite pockit. THis piece is the emporor ansd proviedes second OPinions. CApture opponendfts emperosrs through Stealth for peraps a wiN or perhaps a free moave.
2. BUy new piecs from the bAnker usign chose n currencyies - ffror exambpel PERhaps if I fiancheato That is "1 currency unit".OR maybe a "check" is also a "1 currency unit" or a "fork" or whatever like pins ansd stfuff too.
3. Whent hte Gamew is fginished tRyr palying backwards - PAWNS GO Ebackwarsds now! , and you pute the opponetns pecei s down wherevier you want ona square you have vacanted - ansd see who can get back to orignila positiosn first. NO TAKING, jsut mOVIGN AROUDN thsi time. Win THIS for worht "o.5 point" wehras CHeckamte is worht "1 point".

THis is gonan be more fun probaly so sya thanks, Easy i dont care. ALso I have thougth of a new recipe afor cakepies where you pastry over a cake and bake i t - WHatch your chess fireneds gape i n wornder at the cake iNSIDE! :) :) :) THat's nto really a chesse rule bTU IT could be

We're stilsl ROcking, HE's tssitill ROscking> EVyerobody ROck rock Shop shoop shwe wwasddy awddy

2008-12-08T10:52:00.001Z

THinking about philospohy reminded me aboiut this noise I can make now by holding my breath. CHEKITOUT

RickRoderickRumpus.mp3

Philosnopholopagy

2008-12-08T10:15:00.002Z

Peeps are probabyl wonmdering and about my personal philsoohpy and teh basis for my Aesthertic. NEWSDOWN buh buh BUHRRRRR:

"Watch out for Plato and Hegel. When Plato and Hegel get together they howl at the moon and go running through the streets shouting lies through open windows. Plato and Hegel get mad drunk at the lowest dive they can find, and hatch schemes. Plato and Hegel piss on the graves of Socrates and Kant, and they sharpen their knives in dirty alleyways watching for Marx and Aristotle on their way home from school. Plato and Hegel run drugs and guns and they don't care about you or anyone you know."

Kids gotta learn yo.

Nartative what./?

2008-12-07T18:04:00.002Z

What would it mean if you (hyoossppppppooooooathetically) dreamt a whole load of things that RHYMED? WHAT WOULD IT MEAN IF YUIO Dreemed A RYHME? WOuidlkl it matter what the rhyme was? OK - iT was things that ended in the sy,llabel "ar" - things with an "ar" sound.

Nugget! People are alwyas waking up and down but its importan tt o rembemr THat it isn't a real story.

Even Stephen Is the BLues

2008-12-07T16:14:00.004Z

"Even in a life caged by it we can still sometimes rich with mystery forgets - you MUST turn around So I can make a video". - Herr Her eis the affect:

a picture of everything ever

2008-12-06T01:43:00.005Z

A picture of the universe i found on teh internet. The Middel MBit is the Universe and the imaginary rings are the Observable Universe. unimaginabel upsetting tiny stuck on a blog but there can never be anything worse because this everythgn

First angleshot THen you never know

2008-12-06T00:45:00.002Z

Back at the internet I was getting asppppreeeeeeeetty weired THINGS. Straight talkers at the bottom of the encyclopaedia looking up yes for the thousandth time well I don't need these kinds of of activity because I had a proper upbringing with SPRAY_PAINT and AND you know, blowing paint with straws and putting paint on water and painting with fingers, like all they ever did was create new ways of making Paint interact with ENergy a real meditative upbringing that shows you the work behind the image. Just staring out at mile upon mile of plastic packagning, coutning ways of painting until youre mind explodes. Respect for adveritisng. REal straight talkers know you can't do ANYTHING YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING YOU'RE USELESS But who cares?

THis is this sis some RIGHTEOUS FORGET ABOUT US

2008-12-05T13:00:00.000Z

Wecollome and new shit distrippution. WE will so love together. And now for new star klektable barre sing:

(sound of the underground, TRUMPETED)

THE PROTESTING TICTAC AND THE SPIRIT OF 'FLAP IT A LITTLE'

th e story of a difficult tic-tac adn the way to eat.

Smackdown.